Is your child struggling to respond when you ask, “How was your day?” – Here are some tips that can help

It is important for our children to be able to share with their parents, carers or loved ones how their day way – it helps them with connection and relationships, to feel heard, and sometimes provides an opportunity for problem solving and support. However, sometimes children may have difficulty with responding to what feels like the simple question of "How was your day?" If your child is having difficulty responding to this question, they may only provide short replies that reveal little about their daily experiences, which can lead to feelings of frustration or a sense of disconnect between parent and child.

This blog post aims to give you some information and strategies about how to support children to more easily respond to the question: “How was your day?”

So, why do children struggle to answer this question?

Children are required to use several skills to answer this one question. These skills include:

1.        Language skills: Children have to use their language skills to put their thoughts into words and sentences that follow grammar and sentence structure rules. If a child has language difficulties or a language disorder, this may be particularly difficult.

2.        Cognitive Processing skills: Recounting events in sequence demands strong memory and organisational skills. Temporal sequencing skills, or the ability to put events in order, is important for organising and effectively communicating story information.

3.        Emotional Regulation skills: Children may need time to process their emotions before sharing their experiences, especially after a busy day at school or kindy when they are hungry and tired.

How can we foster this skill?

1.        Ask the right questions: Children with language difficulties or a language disorder often struggle to answer some of the wh- questions (that is, who, what, when, where why and how). Your child may find it easier to answer questions starting with what, where and who (these responses relate to things we have seen with our eyes). They may find it more challenging to answer questions starting with when, why and how (because these responses require us to utilise higher level language and cognitive skills).

2.        Ask Specific Questions: Instead of a broad inquiry, you can ask more targeted questions to help your child formulate a more specific answer.  For example:

a.        What was the most fun thing you did today?

b.       What did you do at lunch time?

c.        Where did you sit?

d.       Who did you play with?

e.        Who was away from school today?

3.        Help them build their vocabulary: Encourage your child to use descriptive words and phrases to express their thoughts and emotions. You can model using descriptive words so child can observe them in use (eg: “Wow, it sounds like you felt very excited about that!”) or you can ask questions to help them to describe something more (eg: “Oh, how did that feel?”)

4.        Recast: repeat what your child has said with correct grammar and sentence structure during the conversation to help them hear more precise language.

5.        Encourage Sequencing: Help your child understand the order of events by asking them to recount what happened first, next, and last.

6.        Foster Prediction Skills: Discuss possible outcomes of events or actions to enhance your child's ability to infer and predict.

As you navigate conversations about your child's day, or if your child is having trouble sharing with you about their day, it may be worth trying out some of these strategies to help foster richer communication opportunities and closer connection with your child.